Love Hurt

This morning I woke up thinking of my ex fiancee. As the warm waters of my morning shower washed over me, I contemplated our transgressions and what was the difference between the happy relationship I have now, and the tumultuous one we had together. Don't get me wrong, she's a great woman, and we shared the best of times and the worst of times. In the end, things mattered so much, and cut so deep, because we loved so much.

In the process of "finding love," we must learn to love and be loved. There are different types of love obviously, like that of a parent or friend. Often, it's the ones we hold above all others that our "love" neglects the most due to our insecurities, fear, and inability to communicate effectively.

When my relationship ended, I took the time to reflect on my own actions and feelings. In the heat of the moment, we may say things we regret. I certainly did, yet, at the time I felt justified in my comments. Through careful and objective reflection, I came to understand that things bothered me in a way with her, more than anyone else because I cared so deeply.

Not saying our union was perfect, nor ultimately that it would work, but I think we both put ourselves through a lot of personal grief because we knew that we weren't meant for each other, even though we loved each other greatly. That's what hurt so much. To look into someone's eyes and love deeply, yet feel so detached is a very painful experience to endure.

That being said, and finding wisdom in all things, there are lessons to learn from deep painful love. I never look back with regret, because we cannot change yesterday. We've set each other free to find the true happiness we were destined to live, which is the greatest act of love and kindness two people can give. In honor of that experience, I try to live my life now by the lessons learned by it that has taught me more about myself and what will truly make me happy in life.

Sometimes love is not meant to last forever, and your partner isn't your possession. During your break up remember to criticize yourself first. It takes two to tango. It also takes two to argue. Remind yourself that it is alright not to be the same, and that people do grow apart. Stop comparing yourself to them and their ideals. Think about your happiness.

Lastly, walk away re-defining what it is that you truly want. Strip away all the good things from the bad and focus on those things you want in a partner. Recognize those things in people you don't like, or that rile you and irritate you and avoid them. Look for a partner who possesses those traits that will strengthen your bonds, instead of driving wedges between the happiness in your mind, and the reality you love.

People say and do things because love makes them care so deeply that they almost become intoxicated and delirious by it. And that isn't a pleasant sight. There are times when love is supposed to hurt. It pulls on your tenterhooks because it touches each of us so deeply and completely. Learn from those feelings so when you fall in love again, you can love with open arms and heart, and a mind free from those insidious thoughts that sabotage your happiness.

Valentine Love

Valentine's are a special way of showing love to loved ones around the world and Cupid is the little guy with the arrows of "love". As an ambassador of love he can be found in every country and every town. He is especially important in Loveland, Colorado.

Cupid has already arrived in Loveland to meet with the volunteers of the worldwide Loveland Valentine Re-Mailing Program. The valentines will come from all 50 states and over 100 foreign countries including Brazil, Kenya, New Zealand, Poland, South Africa, Taiwan, Russia, Vietnam and Yugoslavia. Large numbers of valentines come from Canada, Great Britain, Japan and Australia each year to be re-mailed. Valentine's Day in Loveland, Colorado is a day of loving fulfillment for the citizens of this small town in northern Colorado.

The re-mailing program was started in 1947 by Ted Thompson, a local businessman, and postmaster Elmer Ives. Mr. Ives had received about 40 Valentines from people requesting they be mailed from Loveland, Colorado with the Loveland postmark as it would be a unique romantic touch. The two men talked it over and presented it to the Chamber of Commerce as a marketing opportunity to promote Loveland. The re-mailing program was promoted locally by the Loveland Reporter Herald and word was sent out nationally by the wire services. The Loveland Valentine Re-Mailing Program was born.

The first Loveland cachet was a heart pierced by an arrow with the message, "A Valentine Greeting from Sweetheart Town, Loveland, Colorado". Volunteers hand stamped the cachet on over 300 valentines the first year and each thereafter the number of valentines re-mailed has increased. It is estimated that over 300,000 valentines will be stamped with the 2010 cachet. The cachet is formed by joining the art and a four line verse into one stamp and then it is applied to each envelope by volunteers. The art and verse are submitted each year by local citizens in competition to win the coveted cachet.

The volunteers are mostly senior citizens who look forward to February when the sorting and stamping begins. The valentines are sorted by color: red envelopes require a black cachet and white envelopes are stamped in red. The envelopes are sorted by size and counted. Processing the envelopes can be as high as 55,000 in one day. The envelopes are then taken to the Loveland post office and stamped with the distinctive Loveland cancellation mark created each year. This is truly a labor of love and a source of pride from the volunteers as each envelope is handled approximately 15 times from start to finish.

Love Education Quotes

The giving of love is an education in itself.

The entire object of true education, is to make people not merely do the right thing, but to enjoy right things; not merely industrious, but to love industry; not merely learned, but to love knowledge.

True education flowers at the point when delight falls in love with responsibility.

To observe people in conflict is a necessary part of a child's education. It helps him to understand and accept his own occasional hostilities and to realize that differing opinions need not imply an absence of love.

Motivational Love

It is hard to ever beat the first date, first kiss or the first moment we meet someone that we instantly fall in love with. The follow up dates tend to still be great, and might amplify our original feeling but that is only until the novelty of having something new wears off. I know it might be a bit harsh to think of it in those terms, but we as human beings basically like new things. We like new toys, cars, wardrobes and are very happy in the beginning but it soon wears off. Even when eating great food, it usually does not taste as good the next time and if we ate it everyday we would soon grow sick of it.

I will give a little example of this as I went on a trip to Tokyo. I stayed at a top rate hotel, and the breakfast menu had everything that you could imagine with the buffet area being bigger than my entire town home. I was the happiest person alive until the next day, as I already felt it was not the same. As I came back to that same hotel two weeks later it was just more of the same and I became bored of it. It is insane when I think back on it as the place was magnificent and the food beyond delicious. So with that in mind, what do we do about love?

Many couples go through a stagnant period, and thus the divorce rate in this country is booming. I believe that it crossed the fifty percent threshold a long time ago already. This makes single mothers and single fathers the new norm. I do not think that their kids feel like it is normal. They probably deal with it and put on a front, but I think there is a direct correlation between our lifestyles and the many burdens that we place on the kids' shoulders. So what do we say to a friend that tells us, I just do not love her/him anymore and am thinking about leaving? It depends how good of a friend they are, right? I don't think that many of us would know what to tell them, as many our having the same thoughts ourselves.

I came upon and audio lecture the other day by a relationships specialist and they mentioned studies that were done on couples such as these. Usually this doctor only seen and spoken to the person that was thinking of leaving, and this way was able to come to a few interesting conclusions. The first one is that love is a verb, not a feeling. We can love to love, but there is no such thing as just loving a person. When you think of love really try to dissect the meaning. Isn't it all about the sacrifice, selflessness and placing the other person first? If we want to get our love back, we can start by making the actions first. This specialist said that the people that did, all came back saying that the feeling was coming back or that it was there the entire time just buried under all the other junk.

I think this is a very positive message to the rest of us. If we want to feel loved, we should love first. Do something nice for your partner and don't expect anything in return, now that is love.